Welcome to day 2 of The Spook School's Scottish Fiction Takeover!
Baltimore will always hold the romance of night swimming. Not the romance conveyed by Michael Stipes, oh no, this is the more realistic romance of hangovers and hypothermia. Holding on to the romance that is the seductively illicit feel of slipping silently (very loudly in hindsight, but we had been drinking to be fair) through a fence to sneak into an outdoor pool, the feel of icy cold water ripping away the groggy veil of ‘Natty Bo’s’ induced inebriation to reveal a nude sobriety in the early hours. Memories of Adam walking barefoot through a debris strewn side street before being impaled on some American splintered sliver. Knowing as Adam limped towards JFK airport that he would always have a little piece of America with him (unless he visited a free medical professional on the NHS).
Baltimore will always hold the romance of night swimming. Not the romance conveyed by Michael Stipes, oh no, this is the more realistic romance of hangovers and hypothermia. Holding on to the romance that is the seductively illicit feel of slipping silently (very loudly in hindsight, but we had been drinking to be fair) through a fence to sneak into an outdoor pool, the feel of icy cold water ripping away the groggy veil of ‘Natty Bo’s’ induced inebriation to reveal a nude sobriety in the early hours. Memories of Adam walking barefoot through a debris strewn side street before being impaled on some American splintered sliver. Knowing as Adam limped towards JFK airport that he would always have a little piece of America with him (unless he visited a free medical professional on the NHS).
Official Natty Bo Spokesman |
There are some many special and absurd memories of our
American dalliance. A brief highlight reel would have to include sharing Korean
food and karaoke with the legends that are Expert Alterations. Rocking out in a
straight edge venue in Pittsburgh. Standing next to the Rocky statue in
Philadelphia whilst a man in a hat claimed he was Sylvester Stallone (he was
just a man in a hat!). Niall being offered free knee surgery for his ‘hot knee’
in New York. Singing along to Taylor Swift in the van. Eating vegan Philly
Cheese Steak. Playing an awesome show that seemed to be run by a very confident
11 year-old in Philly. International van quizzes between Heathers and the
Spooks. Being trounced at foosball (a lot). Attempting to complete drunken
jigsaws in Burlington. Stage invasions and minor stage destruction at New York
Popfest. The complete absurdity that someone was letting The Spooks do any of
this in America.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia |
What is a ruta-bagel? I’m so glad you asked! On arriving in
America we swiftly learned that it was a world that is both similar yet
different to our own. The humble and beautiful turnip was not labelled as such.
In America they had the ‘rutabaga’. Yes, I agree with you dear reader, it is a
deliciously silly name and much fun to pronounce. The classic American nursery
rhyme ‘who left a rutabaga in my Winnebago?’ was a classic staple for the road
trip. In another coincidence we noticed the immense popularity of the Bagel in
American culture (what we call in Europe a savoury donut). It seemed only right
that these two icons of Americana would come together to create something Uncle
Sam could truly be proud of. Step 1: Pick your turnip. Step 2: Drill a hole through
the middle. Step 3: Claim to be the inventor of the ‘Ruta-Bagel’. Fourth step,
bask in the adoration of the public and wait for Wal-Mart to buy your idea.
Soooo expensive! |
What can we expect tomorrow I hear you cry?!?!?! Well, how
about a love letter from Niall to one of our new favourite bands. They are from
Sweden and they make us cry with joy.
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