It’s Day 5 of The Spook School Takeover and it’s time to
learn a little bit more about how some bands we like in Scotland decided to
name themselves. It is important to note that Scotland’s only Independent-Muso-Historiographer-In-Chief
Niall McCamley can only tell the truth. We certainly trust him and you should
too.
Withered Hand: The musical project of the man previously
known as Dannnnnnnnn Willllllson. After trying and failing to buy a name badge
that would fit over a single breast Dannnnnnn hired a management consultancy
company who brainstormed a number of names. The winning title, Withered Hand,
came about when the company’s stenographer lost a hand after being forced to
write out Dannnnnnnnnn Willllllllson too many times. His personal name was also
changed by deed poll to protect stenographers everywhere to Dan Willson. Many
people in the stenographer community still maintain this name is still too long
but Dan has decided to cease using their services and instead uses his memory
to remember things now.
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| Why is my name so looooong!!?!? |
Honeyblood: After developing a taste for sweet nectar
straight from the plant this Scottish duo sought to eliminate any competition.
As such they actually devour bees that encroach on their turf. They have
actually eaten so many bees rumour has it that their blood has turned into
honey. Known to the local police as Stina ‘Sting Ya and Eat Ya’ Blood and Shona
‘Honey I Blew Up a Colony of Bee’s’ Blood it appears their reign of honey
related terror will be never ending.
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| The Honeyblood Mausoleum |
Randolph’s Leap: The band’s name was originally the title of
a concept album. It was to be about a little known Scottish triple jumper
called Randolph MacLeod and his tragic final jump at the Olympic Qualifiers where
he managed to come joint last with Eric the Eel. The level of tragedy was
increased however when it was realised that Eric the Eel was in fact an eel and
not the heartwarming amateur swimming athlete of the same name. Randolf then
jumped on the eel leading to the International Olympic Community to decree the
day Eel Day, the colloquial equivalent in Leith is The Day of Randolph’s Leap
Where He Killed That Poor Eel. What a dick.
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| Adam Ross |
Kid Canaveral: Their first choice name was actually Jodie’s
Kidd’s Carnival but this idea was scuppered when discovered it had already been
taken by a show on ITV2 +1. It was never actually broadcast on ITV2, just
ITV2+1 in order to give the impression that they had a full and varied schedule
but in doing so made the +1 element redundant and a lie. In the end the name
they went for came from the band’s secret desire to send a baby goat into
space. They still harbour this dream and every year petition NASA to open their
programme to goats. They also throw goats in the air after they drink too much
Buckfast.
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| The Kid Canaveral Dream |
Tuff Love: They were originally called Ruff Love in homage
to their love of dogs. There is in fact bootleg footage of the band trying to
enter Johnny ‘Pictish Trail, Mr Lost Map’ Lynch’s beard into Scottish Crufts.
The video shows the trio being thwarted in the final round when Mr Lynch’s
beard shat itself in front of the judges. If you watch the video below you will see the King of the Lost Map Empire's beard complete lose itself. Poooooooooo.
Belle and Sebastian: Their first name was the ultra cool Belle
and the Sebastians, inspired by the famous Scottish love story about a crate of
Jamaican lobsters and a French door ringer. Unfortunately focus groups didn’t
like the lobster heavy references and Stuart Murdoch was forced to plump for a
French book instead.
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| Stuart Murdoch |
The Pastels: Originally The Fruit Pastels but they were
quickly sued. They tried a lot of names including Opal Fruits, Starburst,
Pastel Parcel, Pastel/Future Heaven (PAST HELL FUTURE HEAVEN hahahahaha!). They
are now happily called The Pastels and unhappily mocked by fruit flavoured sweets
bearing their old names.
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| The Pastel's first ever publicity shot |
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